Maybe Being Alone Is a Season to Build.

 LIFELONG LEARNER · HAPPYKAY LIFEGAZING

BEYOND ENVY

Maybe Being Alone Is a Season to Build

I came across an interesting idea today, one that was attributed to Arthur Schopenhauer.

The idea went something like this:

When you are a little better than others, people may envy you and try to pull you down. But when the distance becomes enormous—when you become exceptionally good at what you do—envy can eventually turn into admiration.

I liked the thought.

But when I went looking for the original words, I couldn’t verify that Schopenhauer actually said it quite that way.

What I did find was perhaps even more interesting.

Schopenhauer wrote extensively about envy. He believed that comparison could become a source of misery, and he observed how difficult it can be for people to comfortably accept another person’s obvious excellence.

And that made me think about something more personal.

Maybe I don’t need to become smaller to make other people comfortable.

Sometimes when we feel resistance from people around us, our instinct is to look at ourselves.

Was I too much?

Did I say too much?

Should I be quieter?

Should I hide what I’m working on?

Maybe I should make myself a little less visible.

But what if that isn’t the lesson at all?

What if the answer isn’t to become smaller—

but to keep building?

Maybe Being Alone Is a Season to Build

There are seasons when growth can feel surprisingly lonely.

You start something new.

You study when nobody particularly cares that you’re studying.

You make things nobody is waiting to see.

You write when hardly anyone is reading.

You practice.

You fail.

You try again.

And sometimes you look around and realize that there aren’t very many people standing beside you.

I used to think that kind of loneliness meant something had gone wrong.

Now I’m beginning to wonder if sometimes it simply means:

This is a season to build.

Instead of spending all my energy wondering why someone doesn’t understand me, perhaps I can learn something.

Instead of trying to convince someone to appreciate what I’m doing, perhaps I can make another thing.

Instead of asking,

Why aren’t they cheering for me?

I can ask,

What can I build today?

Beyond Envy

And perhaps the goal isn’t really to become so successful that everyone finally admires us.

That would still leave our lives dependent on other people’s reactions.

Envy and admiration are strangely similar in that way.

Both still place someone else’s eyes on us.

Maybe freedom comes somewhere beyond both.

To become so absorbed in learning, creating, practicing, and living that neither someone’s envy nor someone’s applause determines what I do next.

I don’t need to prove that I am better.

I don’t need to make anyone regret underestimating me.

I don’t even need everyone to understand what I’m building.

I just need to keep building it.

Quietly.

Patiently.

For a very long time.

Maybe one day there will be something substantial standing where all those quiet days used to be.

And perhaps that is enough.

A thought I’m keeping today

Don’t shrink to escape envy.
Don’t succeed just to earn admiration.
Build until neither one decides who you become.

Reflection

Have you ever mistaken a lonely season for a sign that you were going in the wrong direction?

Maybe it wasn’t.

Maybe being alone was simply a season to build.

— HappyKay

Source note: This reflection was inspired by an idea circulating online and attributed to Arthur Schopenhauer. I could not verify that wording as a direct Schopenhauer quotation. Schopenhauer did, however, write extensively about envy, comparison, merit, and society’s response to exceptional ability in Counsels and Maxims and his other essays.